Questioning habits

As mentioned in last week’s intro to this mini-series (the previous post), habits are closely entangled with other elements that keep us from going ahead and apply changes, the most notable of them, but by no means the only ones, being fear of the unknown and lack of motivation.

There is, however, a simple way to move forward and challenge all those things that hold you back, and that is questioning your habits, and doing so regularly!

Here’s how you can do this on your own: when you go through your day you’ll find that a lot of what you do, think about, comment on, or comment on are things that come back over and over. Those are all possible candidates for something that you do out of habit. Anything goes: it could be the way you go about placing your dishes into the sink, or that comment you give whenever someone asks you how you are doing, the way you greet people, the annoyance you feel when someone shouts into their phone, how you react to certain phrases, etc. anything that triggers and automatic response.

Whenever you become aware of one of those things, take a moment and consider how you reacted and why you did it. There’s no need to do anything about it there and then, just consider it and move on. The more you do this, the more you will become aware of patterns in your habits, and it will become easier to see them coming. When you keep doing this, you’ll find that you will come across habits you really don’t like and you want to try and let go for good.

And THAT’s the moment when you may want to start picking the habits you feel are least favourable to your wellbeing and think about ways to change them. I’m not saying you have to change all of them: many of them may just be part of who you are. But some of them may turn out to be holding you back on many different levels.

It can be hard to keep doing this, especially since you are taking baby steps at first. Believe me: your steps will gradually become bigger, and before you know it you’ll suddenly find yourself making changes you thought impossible when you started out. It’s all a matter of sticking with it.

That brings us to the next step: making changes and developing new and better habits. And this is where we all struggle. Considering change can be simple enough, but not giving up is another matter altogether! This is what the next three blog posts will be about: giving you three powerful questions to keep the momentum going, to help you stay the course:

• What if things don’t change… (12 April 2018)
• Can I just… (17 April 2018)
• Would I rather… (19 April 2018)
  

For those who dare:

Sometimes it is good to have someone to simply hold your hand or give you a hug, and that is enough to keep you from giving up. You could enlist the support of one or more friends to keep you going if you believe that would be helpful. Make sure they understand that they are not supposed to push you in any way, but simply serve as a sounding board and a ‘helpline’ when things get tough.

The important thing is this: YOU have to go on looking at your inner thoughts, nobody else can do this for you.