Finding out what you really want

Have you ever taken the time to sit down and consider what you really want? I’m not just talking about what to do next, but to seriously think about your general goals in life.

Very few of us will ever do that, and if we do it tends to be a rare occurrence. Usually those moments are the result of a clear and drastic change in our lives and the need to readjust our expectations to the new status quo.

Of course, we are all able to think ahead and hope for things to happen. However, hoping for something and wanting something are two entirely different things! When you go out for a walk, you’d hope that the rain clouds won’t open their floodgates. When you start a business and set out to make it a success, you may have a goal in mind, but mostly you will be engrossed in the work you do rather than forward planning, right?

It is useful to make time and sit down with yourself and nobody else, and consider not just the next steps, but what the ultimate goal is supposed to be. Rather than having a vague goal and some solid steps in its general direction, it may be better to start with a clear goal and then take one step at a time in the general direction of that goal. And there’s the rub: it all depends on just how clearly you can see that ultimate goal and how to determine what it actually is. Here are some thoughts on that subject.

First of all, defining goals needs a mix of realism and the ability to dream big. Oftentimes, a goal seems impossible to reach at first, but that’s not to say it can’t be a goal. I’m not part of the “if you can dream it, you can do it” brigade. I believe there are obstacles we simply cannot overcome in a single lifetime. But that doesn’t mean you may want to work towards that goal! Any progress is a step in the right direction.

When it comes to exterminating clutter from your life, sheer actionist activity may work on occasion but it tends to leave the underlying reasons for the problem untouched, encouraging it to rear its ugly head again at its leisure. What you need is a clear goal, like “I want to be able to sit down without worrying about used plates in need of taking away and washing up” or “I want to be able to find any piece of clothing when I need it”.

Both those ideals can be achieved by a quick clear-out and clean-up, but unless you address the reasons that lead to such issues in the first place, you won’t have much luck with keeping this from occurring again.

In the case of “finding your items of clothing when you need them”, start by asking if there is a particular reason why you can’t find them now: is there obstruction? Is there too much? Does it need more order? Are you not diligent enough with placing things where they need to be? Do you have a floordrobe?

These and many other details need to be clarified to make this into a proper goal. And interestingly enough: the process of defining your goal properly already gives you some first steps to take to make it happen. Answering those questions that come up and considering carefully how you answer them is how you find out what your true desires really are.

If you have enjoyed reading this, you may find these other articles interesting:

• Set goals every day and track them
• Review regularly
• Think positive about yourself