Overwhelm and self-sabotage

Ask yourself: “What are your dreams?”:

Consider this: how much time and energy do you spend beating yourself down instead of lifting yourself up? Imagine what your home could be like if you stopped being a perfectionist, people pleasing and comparing yourself to everyone else.

Self-sabotage often goes hand in hand with a lack of self-awareness or a disconnect between a person’s desires and their actions. People may unintentionally sabotage themselves because of low self-esteem and fear of failure.

The key to freeing yourself from this prison of your own making is self-reflection, developing healthier habits and cultivating a mindset that supports personal growth. When you become more mindful of your thoughts and behaviours you can start to challenge the limiting beliefs that hold you back.

Many of us spend hours each day looking after other people’s needs. We invest our time, energy and attention in work, projects, family and friends. But how often do we truly invest in being mindful of ourselves or even just being still?

Most of us don’t feel guilty if we head to the gym, have a nice meal or attend a concert. We do these things for enjoyment or to relax, so it’s normal to engage in them. Yet activities that require self-reflection or time alone seem to be harder to reconcile: meditation, yoga, silent walks, therapy, massage, creativity, crafting, trips to a museum, further education or degrees.

Ask yourself: “What are your dreams?”: What would you like to do if there were no barriers or restrictions, if you could do anything, anywhere and without commitments to anyone? When trying to answer this question, many people realise that they put their own needs second to the needs of others. They sabotage their own lives, becoming less happy and fulfilled in the process.

This very much applies to dealing with physical clutter in your home as well. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you already believe that you cannot do something. There is hope, though, and there are ways to keep you on track.

• Set clear, specific and achievable goals. Break big projects into smaller chunks to allow for small, but consistent, wins. This can help with procrastination too.
• Look at imperfection or failure as an opportunity to learn and grow. Good enough and on time is better than perfect and late.
• Keep a running list of your achievements and write down any positive feedback you receive to remind yourself of your capabilities.

Look within. If you want to be happier, examine your mindset first and recognise and challenge negative self-talk. When you’re engaging in self-sabotaging behaviours and thoughts, try to stop them in their tracks.